I am Serious – part II

22 Jan

These are deeper, difficult thoughts, even in terms of implementation!

1. Ban paper currency- make the world go barter.  Else- somehow mint plastic coins. Use waste plastic there …. PLEASE. I hate those chips/rajnigandha wrappers on the roadside.

2. Make it compulsory for anyone working on a Laptop to work from home. All approvals would automatically happen on soft copy. Also, this would encourage cloud computing and more new age innovations. Obviously, we’d save fuel too.

3. Ban cigarette. Save those butts.

4. Dig all Govt. offices. Pull out the load of paper in there. Soft copy them. Recycle the paper. (This would also help create employment for people who would soft copy it.)

5. Bring the world to a consensus on saving paper. The rest would happen!

This is a serious post

19 Jan

I know… you have been waiting to read this. Seriously, this one post has been on my mind for over a month and has been pending for long.

It is about the Idea, IDEA broke the campaign a little early, else I would have got the credit for the tree saving campaign ;P. But, procrastination has its disadvantages and advantages. So, ruminating this for over a month now, on how to save paper.. here are some intelligent solutions, coming from me!

Dear Pizza Hut and Dominos – please don’t send me paper napkins, unless I ask you to. Please, Go Green !

Dear office goer – avoid going to Hari Sadu with paper documents. No paper. No tearing. 🙂

Reduce usage of PAPER NAPKINS, PAPER CUPS,  anything made of paper.  Off late, I carry my chai mug everywhere. To the chaiwala, in the train etc etc. No, its a cup and not a lotah! :p. And I live in India and not the U.S.

Dear  local marketing guys – reduce advertsing on PAPER: I don’t read your pamphlets, if you send them along with my newspaper. Also, I don’t take them seriously.

Dear guys/gals about to be married – electronic cards – sing and dance, the way you’re planning for your marriage.  Just do a little bit of hard work and send across digital cards which sing and dance to those 500 relatives, instead of ordinary PAPER cards.

Dear colleges –  please cancel all exams. (especially, paper exams)

Dear students – don’t study marketing. And if you do, study sustainable marketing (Think a century and not a quarter). Please don’t waste money on paper ads, billboards etc.

– All you good citizens – just follow my advise! 🙂

I want to be a politician! :)

22 Nov

Despite several attempts of becoming regular at my blog posting, I have failed.

So, I have decided that I will become a politician. How does that help my cause. Here’s how –

1. I suffer all that the common man suffers through. Eg: – water problems, bijli problems , identity crisis etc. Therefore, I intend to turn the tables. I will talk about them, and in the process have undaunted supply of civic infrastructure, exclusivity on roads, infalible bijli etc. With the basic and exclusive infrastructure at my service, I can get more time to think about the bigger problems that common man suffers through… (not including me)

2. To be a regular at my blog, I need brain waves… an insight into the common man’s subject. If I become a politician, I’d be party to discussions, discussions and discussions. Imagine sitting between 4 politicians – Raj Thackeray, Bal Thackeray, Varun Gandhi and me. Just a mere presence there would give me enough fodder for a thousand posts.

3. I would speak to media all the time. My works / words will get published in reports  by media. This exposure would not only bring traffic to my site but also allow me the right to re-publish these to my blog. hehe!

4. I will get a chance to raise the common man’s subject on a national level. I have lived across the country. I can raise the cause of the UP Manoos, Amdavadi Manoos, Delhi Manoos and Kanaddiga Manoos :). Oh I forgot, I can raise my own cause as well. THE INDIAN MANOOS !!!

Lastly, I have failed in my endeavour to keep the blog regularly posted. And I feel responsible. But, the minute I become a politician, I can assume irresponsibility at the core of my values. I would not even need excuses. I can just be.

The World is My Oyster…

4 Oct

Ladies and Gentleman,

Yes I have given up … (my job)  and taken up a new challenge (LIFE) … at my own risk  …on my own conditions… My Way… I have chosen my own path (bought from Dell) …

Now, I know the right questions must be coming up in your head…? Why… when… what… how… where…

Like most of you who know me… also know that entrepreneurship runs in my blood… 🙂 .. I am a born risk taker.. and ideas person …. blah blah … etc etc… To match up to your expectations I had to do this… YOU are responsible for me quitting a cushy comfortabe job that earned me some peanuts.. and therefore you owe me … I have figured that you can pay me back… for starters just spread the WORD…!

My last day at Naukri(literally) was 1st October. And therefore my new ‘janam’ happened on 2nd October(Do you see a connection with the birth date of the father of the nation.)

I think most of you would agree that I have a fair hand at writing. Also, over the years in my naukri and studying, I have gained some experience in Communications, Branding, PR and Social Media. I want to utilise this to undertake projects with start ups and enhance their reach with their audiences. A lot of my ideas are in the making, and rest assured.. you will be the first ones to know about it.

Mein aur mera laptop aksar ye baatein kiya karte hai.. ki aage kya hoga …for now we are the only companions… and our ‘khopcha’ is my sweet little home… (it goes unsaid that I look forward to your support)

That probably answers most of your questions… stay tuned in for .. much more that is coming up 🙂


Thinking Axe!

Question of the week – News Papers…

10 Jul

Do you believe in what you read in the Newspaper?

Answer in yes or no.

I don’t.

5 ideas to bring in the apocalypse, before 2012

2 Jul

So, the recent fretting over electiricity and water crisis culminates in this post. We all know that the Earth is predicted to have a life of just 3 years now, until 2012.

But we(the world) seem to collectively be working towards shortening it even further. Very well. Why should I stay behind in this effort?

Here are some suggestions to the World to get this going real fast.

1.Pollute air, breathe ‘other ‘ interesting ‘stuff’ : Wouldnt that be ideal. So drive polluting vehicles more. Rebel against public transport. Start a dharna against Metro.

2. Plant no trees We might have noticed that the number of thunder storms and dust storm fequency has gone up since a past few years. Believe me, thank me and you for it.

“I have never planted a tree, and never will. That is my two – bit, ‘NO EFFORT’ contribution.

3.Clean your house, throw kachra on the road. Infact in some years you will find ‘Kachra Storms’, with the amount of Kachra we throw on the roads. All the better. You can just collect them to dispose of the Kachra in your house

4. Pollute water, drink Wine I don’t think any of us need any lesson on it. Infact the system in which we live, ensures that there is no scope of water conservation. We have already contaminated the sea and river water to be sure that the municapility cannot clean it, and we can’t drink it. So we order bottled water(sometimes waste half of it). Very good. Bottled water drinking ensures that for every 1 litre, there is damage done to the Earth, which adds further to the cause.

BTW, our daily natural activities naturally contribute towards the cause – One third of the water in the world goes down the loo. 🙂 Just in case the world survives till 2012, but clean water dies, we can cultivate enough grapes to survive on Wine. 😛

5. Live like today In any case these tips are almost redundant. If we just continue to do what we already do, we’d achieve the purpose :). THANK YOU ALL

Con Calls

20 Jun

Ladies and Gentleman,

Have you ever thought of the various uses of the telephone connections in your home? You can use your phone to call relatives, friends, various services, colleagues, strangers…

But, I want to recount a most ridiculously useful experience. First let me share the learnings.

1. Keep atleast one mobile per person … to a minimum  of 4

2. Learn to change your voice, mimic people etc

Here’s the story –

So it was midnight. A calm weather and a totally unstormy night. I was thinking how beautiful the night is with the cooler and its effect and wondering how the world survived in days of yore. Damn the thought ~ the electricity went off. It is uncanny how a thought translates into unwanted reality when you least want it to. There was no electricity only in our house. Apparently, only 1 phase was off, which meant no electricity only for us.

I wanted to take revenge. However, at 12 in the night my creative juices die, unless pushed into it by Nature…

So I  spread the mattress on the wonderful terrace, and started admiring the sky, the stars. As usual the persistent thought of time travel occupied my mind again. Wished if I was 100 lightyears away, I d be able to understand how earthians lived w/o electricity.

Damn! I was stung into reality again. The mosquitoes which have existed now and forever, were anxious and wanted to have  my blood. For them there were no thoughts only my sweet blood.

Patience tested, I decided to take action and pushed my husband out of his idleness to do SOMETHING.. Call the electricity deptt or do whatever but get the electricity back.

After some loud cribbing on the state of the earth, he succumbed and called the 15A gatekeepers, took  the electrcity deptt numbers and called them. An unfruitful conversation with ELectricity Department  followed..

Him: Hello, 15- a se bol rahein hai.. Light nahi aa rahi

ED: khus fus khus fus

Him:  Nahi sir. Yahaan ek phase nahi aa raha hai(in a sweet, pleading voice)

ED: khus fus khus fus khus fus

Him : ok…

Tung (the phone is down)

Me: :D. aane wali hai ..

Him: arre yaar .. he doesnt believe me .. he says that there have been no complaints..

Me : so what will make him believe us… May be we should ask the neighbours to call.. ugh

Him: MAy.. be…

Me: 😀 … May be we can call on their behalf…

Him : <evil grin>

Now I dial from my number… and heard my prayers in his dialler tone

~~~~Jai Bhole Nath, Jai Ho Prabhu ~~~~

Him: Hello

Me(in a sophisticate, adulterated tone): hailO… Sector 15- a has had a power cut, Electricity Kab tak aayegi?

Him: Madam, kaha se bol rahi hai

Me: 15-A se, our guests are here and the generator aint working.. please jaldi theek kara dijiye. OK

Tuck. Kept the phone down.

Both of us then rushed to the landline and dialled him again.

~~~~Jai Bhole Nath, Jai Ho Prabhu ~~~~

Him: Hello

Me:  HEEELLLLLOOOO, Haan ji yeh light kab aayegi, 15-A mein. Yeh koi time hai light kaatne ka.. aapka machharo se koi pact hai kya… ???

Him: Hello, awaaz nahi aa rahi hai

Me:  Arre bhai  light kab aayegi

Him: MAdam, theek kar rahe hai, 15- A se bol rahi hai na…(now he believes me… :D)

Me: Jaldi karaiye please…

Tuck.. phone down again.

Convinced that he was convinced, we started another round of calls to the guy to create the feeling of an apocalypse…

The electricity was back in 15 minutes… (the world was set straight and back to normal, I could hear the mosquitoes crying)

Yours truly

Thinking Axe

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