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Itching during #CWC!!

21 Mar

Whats itching?

Saurav Ganguly and Navjot Singh Sidhu – Senseless Arguments.

Saurav Ganguly and Harsha Bhogle – some hair on the head (actually wig).

Harsha Bhogle and Saurav Ganguly – Disagreements with Navjot Singh Sidhu.

India and Australia – Trying to be underdogs when they are actually leading teams.

Unexpected nail biting matches, as if it is IPL.

I know I can write a 100 – but these are top of the mind recall.

So whats itching you about this World Cup?

 

 

What women want in their cars!

14 Oct

I am on this wonderful Ford Figo – Discover Smart Drive Tour, and it definitely makes sense for me to write about features I would like my car to have.

So, here is what I need it to have, in no particular order and irrespective of whether I am on the driving seat or not:

1. Mirrors: Every woman is obsessed with her looks. Besides, in India we wear elaborate dresses like the saree, which makes it all the more important to check , every now and then, if  all is fine. So, I come to the point, the ‘hidden mirror’ is heluva lot critical. Don’t you agree?

2. Power steering: Usually the best shopping spots are located in city interiors eg: Johari Bazaar in Jaipur. This means, that if the steering is not powerful enough for us dainty darlings, we’d have to depend on our ‘better’ halfves to drive us. A complete ‘NO’ ‘NO’. So the steering better be good, if you want someone beautiful to sit behind it, and drive it to bazaars and malls.

3. Killer looks: With Indian men no match to Greek Gods, we can expect only our cars to be masculine and beautiful at the same time.

4. Large Boot: The least we expect of cars is to have a large boot which can accommodate all the heavy duty shopping we indulge in every time something goes wrong. It’s called retail therapy, and it’s a must do for every women to remain sane.

5. Bluetooth connection: Women are the multi-taskers, men can never imagine ever to be. We juggle several things at the same time. Cooking, talking, cleaning happens simultaneously. Similarly, traveling, fixing meetings and kitty parties need to happen at the same time. We need to be connected on-the-move. And today, I realized that a bluetooth connectivity can really come in handy in all the cumbersome situations that we have to deal in.

I am sure I can list a hundred other features that we want in our cars. Like a powerful engine to make sure that the car remains sturdy and sustains a little wo-man-handling…

However, lets hear it from you. What’s the most important feature that you want in your car? Suggest it directly to car makers here :D.

Look forward,

Aakriti aka Thinking Axe!

(This post is courtesy my selection for the Ford Figo tour – I, Aakriti and my hubby Anshul are one of the couples and get this wonderful chance to explore the car and India. More posts soon. )

Name is the game!

21 Sep

What went wrong with the ‘Commonwealth’ Games. I know exactly what went wrong. Blame the name.

C’mon now! What do you expect of a game which bears the name ‘common’.  You see, the Government took the name in the literal meaning of the word. If it’s called ‘common’ ‘wealth’ games, it must use up common wealth. Thus, you see the money flowing in and output has very little balance as in the case of any project that uses common wealth.

Also they thought, that since athletes have to run on roads, there should be appropriate arrangements for them to be able to do long jumps, high jumps etc as well. Well, the games development were left to the last, hoping that the rain gods would intervene and take care. Well, they did, and a little too much. There are swimming pools everywhere now. 🙂

They also dug up CP well enough so all their athletic events at one venue. There was no need for spending in building sports complexes at all. But it is insane how India media did not understand, whined a little too much and the rest you know is history.

However, a twist came about. Somewhere in July, it was uncovered that common wealth was not to be usurped in the games. There had to be some kind of sponsorships to support the game. It was not 2 seperate words but one word – ‘Commonwealth’. Alas, the meaning was not so easy, and in a country which considers English as almost the mother tongue, and binds several millions, this mistake was bound to happen.

So they thought, may be it is for very common people – coming from common countries. Well, they developed place that could be inhabited by common people.  Such is the irony, that this also was misunderstood – and here is the result – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/commonwealthgames/8015081/Commonwealth-Games-2010-athlete-housing-not-fit-for-humans-says-team-Scotland.html

Not to mention, the committe had always aspired for this, as reported, “The specification for the village set by Delhi 2010 promised to be of the highest standard, surpassing anything that had gone before.”

BTW, it is called Commonwealth Games because it is overseen by the Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF), which also controls the sporting programme and selects the host cities*. The host city is selected from across the Commonwealth, a federation of 54 countries. This fact makes me angry. What were the other 53 nations thinking? Why could they not take fundamental Commonwealth concepts classes?

The second problem is a little more complicated. It involves celestial interventions and the life of a being.

Now, how would a Marathi know a hindi and kannada word and name a Maharashtrian village by it. Celestial Intervention – it has to be. Someone must have flown in on an Uran  Khatola to this village in Maharashtra from Karnataka/ North India, and seen this wonder full place and named it – Kalmadi.  A family must have been intrigued enough to attach it to its name for generations. And the last, for that Kalmadi name to associate with CWG. You see – ‘kal’ means tommorow and madi means -‘done’.. So, it will be done tomorrow, that is- if tommorow comes.

Meanwhile, I wonder, how a common person like me could decipher the celestial interventions and all, while the numerologists, astrologists and the rest are hiding somewhere, and India TV and IBN7 has not yet uncovered the truth.

Job is goooooood

5 Apr

Six months into working by myself, there is much that I appreciate about a 9am to 6 errr 8pm job. Infact, this post will try and work around you to appreciate what you’ve got in a job, about which you crib a LOT !

1. Office coffee/tea : There are 3 things good about the horrible tasting coffee. First, that it is free. Second that it is automated and third, that it is a good excuse to get off work and grab a quick discussion on weather, bosses, work-load and of course intelligent discussion on ‘you know what she is wearing today’ ….. OMG … ! And a well acceptable excuse.

<on phone>

Boss : where are you? blah blah blah blah blah blah!

ME : Did not get lunch … 😉 so….grabbing a quick cup of coffee (since the past 15 mins)

Boss: Oh ok, rush to my cabin … once done

2. Air Conditioning : Until last year I used to smirk on everyone who would complain about summers. Thanks to the office air conditioning. Infact, i usually was upset about too much cooling and bone ache cos of it.

Well you guys, just try and get yourself really cool in office, untill you move out on your own and dread the overheads of house cooling and electric meter readings. Yeah, even though the electricity department claims otherwise, they definitely run into huge profits.

3. The HR department: So how many of you feel that the HR department does no work. I love these guys, ever since I have none of them around me.

These guys work to take you away from work, planning all the company paid parties …  Diwali partiees, holi get-togethers. They make you get out of office by providing cabs and all (at the same time getting paid for it) … in fact these guys have done a stupendofantabulouslyfantastic job by convincing management that there should be yearly increments (even if it is just 2%), perks and providing extreme comfort at the work place. They have infact corrupted the system, and in the process benefited millions.

4. Bosses: They are God sent. Every time something goes wrong, you can blame it on poor briefing, mislead guidance, poor leadership skills, low motivation and stress due to overload and in most cases get rid of it all via a banter with your colleagues over an after office session. But, had there been no boss – just think about it – who would become the subject of all your talk, know of it and yet  bear you with all dignity. They make for a good crib of 5 mins every 5 mins. 😐

Lastly, this is the most important part of it all. Your puny salary  gets you piece of mind(of your bosses), some bank balance every month. Also, a bank balnce ensures you dignity with the world, and with the Gods of credit.  Enjoy, while those Credit Card guys toil day and night to somehow get your number on their database and all that you do is shout on them when they call….at-least they  don’t put down calls on your face when you declare that you are self occupied!

IPL is pro-Maharashtra !

14 Mar

The great form of entertainment is back and it is pro-Maharashtra. This is how –

1. ) Lalit Modi, Gujju, born in Delhi, studied in Shimla,  Nainital and USA, now living in Mumbai – had committed a crime in 1985, of possessing 500 gms of cocaine, kidnapping and assault. Then, he had pledged 100 hours of community work . Thats when the seeds of IPL were sown. Today, he possesses some 500…….. (lakh/millions/billions rupees), has kidnapped the game of cricket and is assaulting cricketers (via auctions). Yet, it translates into great community work –  One Maha-rashtra through one Maha-game. :).

2.) All of twitter world including most from Mumbai like @iamsrk @theshilpashetty @realpreityzinta will tweet and trend IPL. One Mumbai. One topic of interest. One nation. One twitter. One world.

3.) I support Mumbai Indians and Delhi Daredevils and Kings Xi (sitting in Noida), my hubby supports Chennai sooper Kings (eeks – really!), my neighbours from Chennai support Delhi Dare Devils, and my Bhabhi’s pup supports the cheer leaders. He wags his tail and attempts some form of dance, every time he sees them! DOGS !!! All of us, sometimes, watch on the same TV set.

4.) We Indians are a lot of very aggressive people, especially when on roads, in the house (excpet infront of our bosses) With aggressive cricket around us, all of us just sit infront of TV sets and let cricketers like Appam C…. get agressive. Effectively, less traffic on the roads and PEACE!

5.) So, now for the next few days we will not hear about the Marathi Manoos. Instead from various parts of the country we will find supporters for Mumbai Indians, with players from Maha – Rashtra ie the world. Dear Mr. Thackeray beat this!

6.)Besides, Media would be too busy juggling three important news items, and will totally forget about Mr. T and other state related news cos of . 1. IPL III 2. Dance India Dance 3. Anandi’s death and second life (TVitually)

The amalgam of all that India is about – Cricket, Bollywood, Twitter, Unity in Diversity and Aggression is therefore, pro Maha-rashtra and INDIA. 🙂

I am Serious – part II

22 Jan

These are deeper, difficult thoughts, even in terms of implementation!

1. Ban paper currency- make the world go barter.  Else- somehow mint plastic coins. Use waste plastic there …. PLEASE. I hate those chips/rajnigandha wrappers on the roadside.

2. Make it compulsory for anyone working on a Laptop to work from home. All approvals would automatically happen on soft copy. Also, this would encourage cloud computing and more new age innovations. Obviously, we’d save fuel too.

3. Ban cigarette. Save those butts.

4. Dig all Govt. offices. Pull out the load of paper in there. Soft copy them. Recycle the paper. (This would also help create employment for people who would soft copy it.)

5. Bring the world to a consensus on saving paper. The rest would happen!

This is a serious post

19 Jan

I know… you have been waiting to read this. Seriously, this one post has been on my mind for over a month and has been pending for long.

It is about the Idea, IDEA broke the campaign a little early, else I would have got the credit for the tree saving campaign ;P. But, procrastination has its disadvantages and advantages. So, ruminating this for over a month now, on how to save paper.. here are some intelligent solutions, coming from me!

Dear Pizza Hut and Dominos – please don’t send me paper napkins, unless I ask you to. Please, Go Green !

Dear office goer – avoid going to Hari Sadu with paper documents. No paper. No tearing. 🙂

Reduce usage of PAPER NAPKINS, PAPER CUPS,  anything made of paper.  Off late, I carry my chai mug everywhere. To the chaiwala, in the train etc etc. No, its a cup and not a lotah! :p. And I live in India and not the U.S.

Dear  local marketing guys – reduce advertsing on PAPER: I don’t read your pamphlets, if you send them along with my newspaper. Also, I don’t take them seriously.

Dear guys/gals about to be married – electronic cards – sing and dance, the way you’re planning for your marriage.  Just do a little bit of hard work and send across digital cards which sing and dance to those 500 relatives, instead of ordinary PAPER cards.

Dear colleges –  please cancel all exams. (especially, paper exams)

Dear students – don’t study marketing. And if you do, study sustainable marketing (Think a century and not a quarter). Please don’t waste money on paper ads, billboards etc.

– All you good citizens – just follow my advise! 🙂

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