5 ideas to bring in the apocalypse, before 2012

2 Jul

So, the recent fretting over electiricity and water crisis culminates in this post. We all know that the Earth is predicted to have a life of just 3 years now, until 2012.

But we(the world) seem to collectively be working towards shortening it even further. Very well. Why should I stay behind in this effort?

Here are some suggestions to the World to get this going real fast.

1.Pollute air, breathe ‘other ‘ interesting ‘stuff’ : Wouldnt that be ideal. So drive polluting vehicles more. Rebel against public transport. Start a dharna against Metro.

2. Plant no trees We might have noticed that the number of thunder storms and dust storm fequency has gone up since a past few years. Believe me, thank me and you for it.

“I have never planted a tree, and never will. That is my two – bit, ‘NO EFFORT’ contribution.

3.Clean your house, throw kachra on the road. Infact in some years you will find ‘Kachra Storms’, with the amount of Kachra we throw on the roads. All the better. You can just collect them to dispose of the Kachra in your house

4. Pollute water, drink Wine I don’t think any of us need any lesson on it. Infact the system in which we live, ensures that there is no scope of water conservation. We have already contaminated the sea and river water to be sure that the municapility cannot clean it, and we can’t drink it. So we order bottled water(sometimes waste half of it). Very good. Bottled water drinking ensures that for every 1 litre, there is damage done to the Earth, which adds further to the cause.

BTW, our daily natural activities naturally contribute towards the cause – One third of the water in the world goes down the loo. πŸ™‚ Just in case the world survives till 2012, but clean water dies, we can cultivate enough grapes to survive on Wine. πŸ˜›

5. Live like today In any case these tips are almost redundant. If we just continue to do what we already do, we’d achieve the purpose :). THANK YOU ALL

11 Responses to “5 ideas to bring in the apocalypse, before 2012”

  1. jharna bhatanagar July 2, 2009 at 3:13 pm #

    hahaha…. there goes “reverse psychology” lol! though its the first time i have seen such ideas mite as well add quite innovative and witty.. especially the wine one lol girl!!!
    u r rite as it is its happening might as well shout out about it, you did…just hoping it might make people consider what you are actually trying to point out here!

  2. Rajat July 2, 2009 at 7:06 pm #

    You’ve started eating badaam all right!

    But I have an objection to #3. Clean your house????
    The earth is dying, isn’t it? So why waste that precious little time we have on our planet in cleaning up? Why don’t watch TV instead? πŸ˜›
    The bedroom has a right of being messy. Lets give something to it that we have been denying for centuries…. Dirt and Muck!!! πŸ˜€

    Another of your brilliant post.

  3. geetika July 3, 2009 at 10:25 am #

    I even know of people who bathe with bottled water only and their other daily activities too… erm…u understand what i mean… require bottled water only. Three cheers to them.

    To anyone who opposes Aakriti’s ideas, I have a suggestion. Just start a water recycling plant where all the water going down the loo is recycled and packaged in bottles to reach the rich. πŸ™‚

    • Aakriti July 3, 2009 at 11:35 am #

      I think that is another awesome idea… bathe with bottled water.. LOVE IT… πŸ™‚

  4. Sukhpreet July 3, 2009 at 11:46 am #

    First of all, the satire that you have put in this post deserves an applause. Secondly, the issue that you have put in is really close to my heart as well. Thirdly, the humor is a cherry on the cake. Overall, i feel its one of your best posts till date. Fourthly, the request from my side is that you please coming up with more such posts.

    PS: I loved ‘dharna against metro’ part.

    • Aakriti July 9, 2009 at 3:12 pm #

      Thanks Sukhi… I am thrilled that you liked this post the most :).. will try and keep up to the expectations πŸ™‚

  5. Sravanthi July 3, 2009 at 4:35 pm #

    Wah! Kya sarcasm tha.. harr line mein it was pourin out..

    and i agree.. in a way a lot of stuff has become so “cliched” & taken for granted.. tht yeah we feel like saying… what are we doing abt this now? what next? will anyone ever listen..

    Next one with some ideas on what we can do individually .. evn in a small way to help πŸ™‚ would be great!

    Good one Axe!

  6. Priya July 3, 2009 at 5:58 pm #

    lol! not bad…so you’re back. I was actually missing ur stuff. Keep ’em coming…makes for a good read any time of the day πŸ™‚

  7. ankita July 8, 2009 at 11:36 pm #

    hey aakriti, really liked ur post…n all the issues tht u came up wid.will be looking forward to ur next post:)

  8. Phoenixritu July 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm #

    You’re sure that 2012 is the last of this earth. So can I please stop paying my loans? Will that hasten the process???

  9. Raghu V N December 11, 2009 at 10:13 pm #

    Looks like you are describing some of the daily routines of majority!

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