Con Calls

20 Jun

Ladies and Gentleman,

Have you ever thought of the various uses of the telephone connections in your home? You can use your phone to call relatives, friends, various services, colleagues, strangers…

But, I want to recount a most ridiculously useful experience. First let me share the learnings.

1. Keep atleast one mobile per person … to a minimum  of 4

2. Learn to change your voice, mimic people etc

Here’s the story –

So it was midnight. A calm weather and a totally unstormy night. I was thinking how beautiful the night is with the cooler and its effect and wondering how the world survived in days of yore. Damn the thought ~ the electricity went off. It is uncanny how a thought translates into unwanted reality when you least want it to. There was no electricity only in our house. Apparently, only 1 phase was off, which meant no electricity only for us.

I wanted to take revenge. However, at 12 in the night my creative juices die, unless pushed into it by Nature…

So I  spread the mattress on the wonderful terrace, and started admiring the sky, the stars. As usual the persistent thought of time travel occupied my mind again. Wished if I was 100 lightyears away, I d be able to understand how earthians lived w/o electricity.

Damn! I was stung into reality again. The mosquitoes which have existed now and forever, were anxious and wanted to have  my blood. For them there were no thoughts only my sweet blood.

Patience tested, I decided to take action and pushed my husband out of his idleness to do SOMETHING.. Call the electricity deptt or do whatever but get the electricity back.

After some loud cribbing on the state of the earth, he succumbed and called the 15A gatekeepers, took  the electrcity deptt numbers and called them. An unfruitful conversation with ELectricity Department  followed..

Him: Hello, 15- a se bol rahein hai.. Light nahi aa rahi

ED: khus fus khus fus

Him:  Nahi sir. Yahaan ek phase nahi aa raha hai(in a sweet, pleading voice)

ED: khus fus khus fus khus fus

Him : ok…

Tung (the phone is down)

Me: :D. aane wali hai ..

Him: arre yaar .. he doesnt believe me .. he says that there have been no complaints..

Me : so what will make him believe us… May be we should ask the neighbours to call.. ugh

Him: MAy.. be…

Me: 😀 … May be we can call on their behalf…

Him : <evil grin>

Now I dial from my number… and heard my prayers in his dialler tone

~~~~Jai Bhole Nath, Jai Ho Prabhu ~~~~

Him: Hello

Me(in a sophisticate, adulterated tone): hailO… Sector 15- a has had a power cut, Electricity Kab tak aayegi?

Him: Madam, kaha se bol rahi hai

Me: 15-A se, our guests are here and the generator aint working.. please jaldi theek kara dijiye. OK

Tuck. Kept the phone down.

Both of us then rushed to the landline and dialled him again.

~~~~Jai Bhole Nath, Jai Ho Prabhu ~~~~

Him: Hello

Me:  HEEELLLLLOOOO, Haan ji yeh light kab aayegi, 15-A mein. Yeh koi time hai light kaatne ka.. aapka machharo se koi pact hai kya… ???

Him: Hello, awaaz nahi aa rahi hai

Me:  Arre bhai  light kab aayegi

Him: MAdam, theek kar rahe hai, 15- A se bol rahi hai na…(now he believes me… :D)

Me: Jaldi karaiye please…

Tuck.. phone down again.

Convinced that he was convinced, we started another round of calls to the guy to create the feeling of an apocalypse…

The electricity was back in 15 minutes… (the world was set straight and back to normal, I could hear the mosquitoes crying)

Yours truly

Thinking Axe

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21 Responses to “Con Calls”

  1. Rajat June 21, 2009 at 9:31 am #

    When I read the title, it seemed that it was about all those loan lelo, insurance lelo calls, and about one of your witty attempts to handle them! 😀
    Funny post though! Delhi Vidyut Board chala gaya, par apne karmchaari yahin chhod gaya!!

    I wish you could blog more often…

    • Aakriti Bhargava June 23, 2009 at 12:11 am #

      That stroke of brilliance does not strike me so often, to publish more often on the blog… But will try and eat badaam and improve the situation 😀

  2. anonymous June 21, 2009 at 3:12 pm #

    in this world where one is too busy talking about war, about islam, about jihad, about personal struggles aspirations and inspirations, its is a refreshing change to see a blog that gives u the true feel of a middle class indian family…. Something of is epitomized by the song dil dhoondta hai fursat ke raat din, behte rahe electricity ke intezaar mein ……
    Gud work keep writing…..

  3. Kartik June 22, 2009 at 9:40 am #

    very nice post.. ur sense of humour and the wittiness is awesome:)

    • Aakriti Bhargava June 23, 2009 at 12:10 am #

      Thanks to @kartik and @anonymous… I am glad you liked the post ..

  4. rahul June 22, 2009 at 1:17 pm #

    lolz..I guess you found a decent DJB guy..some of them don’t react even when there is a real apocalypse sort of situation!!

    • Aakriti Bhargava June 23, 2009 at 12:09 am #

      YEah .. Also Sector 15-A happens to be a VIP kind of colony.. 🙂

  5. Nachiketa June 23, 2009 at 2:11 pm #

    Atleast they reacted…..

    I had to sleep without a/c yesterday due to a powercut only in our row…… Waaaaahhhhhhaaaaaa…….

  6. Sukhpreet June 23, 2009 at 2:22 pm #

    hmmm… i never knew that our Page-3 kinda neighbours can actually help us in our power cut problems… in fact, i feel u have enlightened us through this post… more than your humor i appreciate the intelligence hidden in this post… 🙂

  7. sakhi June 23, 2009 at 4:38 pm #

    😀 😀 Naughty Aakriti 😀 😀

  8. Sara June 24, 2009 at 10:15 am #

    Pretty nice post. I just found your blog and wanted to say
    that I’ve really liked browsing your posts. Any way
    I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you post again soon!

  9. Yogesh Goel June 24, 2009 at 8:21 pm #

    nice blog..
    good write ups..

    i’m loving it…

    keep them rolling..

    tke cre
    b well..

  10. prasant June 25, 2009 at 12:46 pm #

    now that’s something kewel and i am going 2 try….thanks for the idea but people in my part are too laid back. Left Rules still…..but not too long.
    I enjoyed ur write up, nice work.

    keep rocking,
    Prasant.

  11. Amit Ghosh June 26, 2009 at 11:28 am #

    Nicely conned – And thanks for sharing the learnings. I am sure they’ll come handy next time I’m confronted with a no-electricity-but-plenty-of-blood-sucking-mosquitoes situation at home 😀

  12. Harsh June 28, 2009 at 11:02 pm #

    that was very unfair to the mosquitoes 😦

    • Nook May 8, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

      Now we know who the snsibele one is here. Great post!

  13. Sravanthi June 29, 2009 at 9:42 am #

    Girl u a real smart chick.. aur anshul perfect match for ur nat-kat-pan 😛

    Had mastt funn reading this one.. think it figures in my favs now 🙂

  14. Neha Gandhi July 3, 2009 at 6:20 pm #

    Hey Aakriti, Loved your posts…… great style of writing… Would you be interested in writing for http://www.mumbaiakar.com…?? Please contact me at neha.gandhi@mumbaikar.com… Thanks…:)

    • Aakriti July 6, 2009 at 9:16 pm #

      WOW.. thanks Neha… !!

  15. Phoenixritu July 24, 2009 at 2:34 pm #

    Awesome! Loved this post. Sounds like something we would have done in that situation

  16. Aakash February 11, 2010 at 6:11 pm #

    I would rather say that was smart. Do you often do these things to get your job done?

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