Yes I have given up … (my job)  and taken up a new challenge (LIFE) … at my own risk  …on my own conditions… My Way… I have chosen my own path (bought from Dell) …

Now, I know the right questions must be coming up in your head…? Why… when… what… how… where…

Like most of you who know me… also know that entrepreneurship runs in my blood… .. I am a born risk taker.. and ideas person …. blah blah … etc etc… To match up to your expectations I had to do this… YOU are responsible for me quitting a cushy comfortabe job that earned me some peanuts.. and therefore you owe me … I have figured that you can pay me back… for starters just spread the WORD…!

My last day at Naukri(literally) was 1st October. And therefore my new ‘janam’ happened on 2nd October(Do you see a connection with the birth date of the father of the nation.)

I think most of you would agree that I have a fair hand at writing. Also, over the years in my naukri and studying, I have gained some experience in Communications, Branding, PR and Social Media. I want to utilise this to undertake projects with start ups and enhance their reach with their audiences. A lot of my ideas are in the making, and rest assured.. you will be the first ones to know about it.

Mein aur mera laptop aksar ye baatein kiya karte hai.. ki aage kya hoga …for now we are the only companions… and our ‘khopcha’ is my sweet little home… (it goes unsaid that I look forward to your support)

That probably answers most of your questions… stay tuned in for .. much more that is coming up

Cheers!

Thinking Axe!

Case No 1 – MICROWAVES – Now these things are suppose to heat food. But isnt there a simple fire that can do that. An independant fire. Microwaves are dependant on electricity (and believe me if live in Noida – it is the most scarce resource here) and food gets heated in vessels that are microwave safe. Ironically, these same vessels are useless, when you put them over fire. But then life itself is ironical(we will go on to this topic in some other post)

Case No.2 – Cushion Covers – Just remember the last time you tried to put on a cushion or pillow cover – its almost like a workout for 2 minutes.  I am a little confused. Why was the design never suitable to make it easy. Aint there enough pushing and shoving that the human kind are subjected to – like by the boss, the house maid, the other complicated stuff etc etc… 

Case No3 – Leave applications – Well , I am lazy enough not to send a mail to my boss and in most cases get a verbal approval. But imagine this. I am now supposed to remember a complicated url- (which I forget, therefore have to search thru a bunch of mails and  have finally managed to make it a favourite on INTERNET EXPLORER),  a username and password.. login and send leave request. As soon as this happens(which fails to happen in most chhuti cases), a ‘mail’ gets shot to my BOSS and she then has to logon to the same url and approve… a mroe tedious complicated process to benefit a bunch of HR professionals and make the life of 1000 employees a little complicated

As I continue thinking of why this happens I realise that most of these complications give way to an ecosystem around them – generating more business/ more employment and giving man another reasons to create a simpler solution.

The indicators are believable – Mapped to previous downturns, statistics indicate that economic indicators are at their lowest, from where it will pick up soon – in simple terms… 

I am happy and already planning life after three months. What will be up my sleeve as soon as the slowdown ends?

1. I have been saving so far since the slowdown began, in fear of losing my job? Therefore, some of my aspirations did not see light of day, and therfore the first things I got to do are to buy a car and a house(if the current rate at 8% persisits)  and also try and do some other life altering stuff that I cant mention publicly.. you may try and guess it though. 

2. Once the slowdown is over, I will start paying the rickshaw puller 20 bucks instead of 15 for commuting between office and home.

3. I will try and spread good word about ICICI, which touched bankruptcy 4-5 times since slowdown started(thanks to me – the originator of such rumours)

4. Also, I will try and make my blog more popular by sponsoring Kolkata Knight Riders (for every IPL – at least they get to play 6 games). Imagine seeing Thinkingaxe.com instead of Nokia, and me instead of SRK .

5. Once I have made enough money in the next boom, I will take up politics as a career, and fulfill my aspirations of opening a shoe shop

Well there is lots more…but I shall close this here today, for the fear of boring you guys.(I am yet not ready for a shoe shop)

Thanks – and do add in your wishlist in comments

I am not writing this post at 1 am in the night, as you guys might doubt that I am actually married now … boo hooo hoo!

So here’s the proof !!

Proof of marriage with witnesses

Arre if you are a civil disobeyer and really dont even know about that…. then you are a bigger contributor…

Now I think is the time to unveil the 4 key activities that make you a part of CDM.

Key activity 1: You contribute towards the filth amassing on the roads. Littering is the key activity here. You may argue that it is not civil disobedience cos Govt has’nt really asked us not to litter. But ofcourse I argue that they have employed a million sweepers to clean the roads, which effectively means that they want clean roads. We as CDM followers are aginst everything that they want.

Besides, It is absolutely common sense to throw that wrapper on the road, we pay taxes… an abominable amt of it. Moreover, but for our CDM, a million people will lose their jobs. Right?

Key Activity 2: Well this activity is male gender specific… I am sure you must have guessed by now what activity I am referring to. There is no argument here. The feline instincts of men signal to the Govt that the land is theirs. (don’t you know how tigers mark their territory)

Key Activity 3: Bribe. Overrule the Govt System. We must make sure that the men – that are part of the system are unable to achieve their objectives by getting the smarter men of that lot on our side.

Key Activity 4: Dare to not pay Tax. This is easier said than done. I salute all the brave men that escape ‘Lagaan’. Y-o-Y. Infallibly.

I am sure there are a lot of other CDM activities that I have not included here. Therefore you are welcome to contribute

I take this opportunity to speak to millions of you out there on the roads…But why? you would ask me now.. OH thats because .. with an interaction with you guys .. I gain immense satisfaction…

Cos of those 5-100 bucks you let go on an a shirt…”Thankyou Bhaiya”

Some places where i’ve found you and made you a part of my life are Sarojini nagar, Janpath, Kamla Nagar and my favourite Lajpat Nagar. I’ll narrate here my interaction with you today:-

__________

Location: Sarojini Nagar

Item on Sale: : clothing(woman’s t-shirt)

Me: Bhaiya- yeh kitne ka hai

Bhaiya : Madam : ek sau paitees ka

Me: Baap re:…Kaisee batein kar rahe ho?? Ek shop khol lo yaha pe, itna mehenga lena hota toh showroom se na le lete…(a little aggressively..)

Bhaiya: Madam, toh jao showroom se le lo (getting indifferent)

Me: Achha batao kitne ka lagega (bringing back his interest)

Bhaiya: aap ko bola na madam.. ab aap bata do kitna doge.. achha ek sau pachees de do…

Me: (to my friend) chalo yaar!

Bhaiya: Achha kitna dogey?????????

Me: Pachaas

Bhaiya: Madam itna margin nahi hai …. (knowing that I know it all) achha sau de do….

Me:rehne do…

Bhaiya: Pichhatar de do… ( now he’s talking)

Me: 50 final???? (me, gesturing to leave… without any intention)

Bhaiya: Achha le lo Madam(Both of us smile.. deal was final since the beginning )

Madam: Mein kehi rahi thi.. roz mein aati hu .. wahi jagah .. wahi daam.. toh jyada kyu du…

Now in my mind :

Bhaiya ji: Maan gaye .. aapki parkhi nazar… aur bargaining skills dono ko )

—————

But for you guys…our saturdays and sundays would have been spent in malls… in those lost worlds..

And I must mention here.. your biasnees towards the fairer sex… gives me a cause to beat my male friends hands on…. The wayback machine takes me to year 2001…

_________________

Location: SRCC

Me: hey, CASPER… (he was wearing a t-shirt with casper fabricated on it)

Him: Like the t-shirt eh…

me: Of course !

Him:

Me: Got it from Sarojini

Him: abbey .. dheere bol

Me: achha kitne ki khareedee?

Him: (Smirking) onnnnlllyyy sixty five:

Me: (a devils smile on my face) ohh hoo hoo… bees jyada de diye… maine bhi same khareedee (.. and i walk away with a triumpant grin)

_________________

Therefore I champion your cause…

With great admiration,

Axe

‘Walking on his fathers road, he indicates the cars and buses and autorickshaws to wait until he crosses the road, or just runs down it as a bus just misses to hit him. He is everywhere… and as he just misses to go to heaven(or hell.. depending on his karma) he turns around and says… something to do with the driver’s someone.

NEXT:

The season of Dussehra when people just fail to recognise that there exist vehicles that run on the road. No ! I am not talking about the Pooja Pandals. I am talking about the ubiquitous Baarats and Pandals for marriage purposes. Marriage season starts from Dussehra and lasts till March. Well, anyone can imagine that with 10 million people getting married every year (oh ok! that number is out of indepth understanding of a matrimony portal) half the India’s roads and most of the colony roads get blocked. Thankfully i don’t own a vehicle. The problem therefore for me is ‘how to get in to my house’. But another thing is that it is not just marriages…. it also includes various other occassions when people take the advantage of tax and reap returns in the name of their fathers.(thats how every body addresses them in such situations)

NEXT:

Well then the other case is about PARKING. Ok I dont know how to drive a car.. but I do understand the etiquettes of car parking. This is a plea to all those nimcompoops who think that it s their FATHERS road. Believe me our generation has paid more tax than your fathers.. it is as much yours and and as much ours.. So please respect traffic authorities and park only where you are allowed to.

NEXT:

And yes, how can I forget the fans of our very own angry young man- Amitabh Bachan. Well Indian’s have this untamed habit of following their heroes. And yes they do display their passion publicly.

“Leave your car in the midle of the road.(baap ki sadak hai!!!) Go Ahead. Fight for your rights against every other Indian who trespasses your car. Especially in the mornings when half of 1/6th of the world is driving to office. Which means that atleast some people will get to know that you are an aggressive angry young man. “

To me it does not matter who’s mistake it was. All that matters that is I lose 15 mins of sleep everyday cos of India’s aggression on the road and the traffic jams that follow.

That is all. Subjectively!