Archive | July, 2008

Civil Disobedience Movement

22 Jul

Fellow and Country Men! Gandhiji started a movement Civil Disobedience against the then Ruling Government. We as followers of Gandhiji have continued to follow his path. Every day in every way. Now you may seek preponderance of evidence. (just learnt the phrase ;) )

Arre if you are a civil disobeyer and really dont even know about that…. then you are a bigger contributor…

Now I think is the time to unveil the 4 key activities that make you a part of CDM.

Key activity 1: You contribute towards the filth amassing on the roads. Littering is the key activity here. You may argue that it is not civil disobedience cos Govt has’nt really asked us not to litter. But ofcourse I argue that they have employed a million sweepers to clean the roads, which effectively means that they want clean roads. We as CDM followers are aginst everything that they want.

Besides, It is absolutely common sense to throw that wrapper on the road, we pay taxes… an abominable amt of it. Moreover, but for our CDM, a million people will lose their jobs. Right?

Key Activity 2: Well this activity is male gender specific… I am sure you must have guessed by now what activity I am referring to. There is no argument here. The feline instincts of men signal to the Govt that the land is theirs. (don’t you know how tigers mark their territory)

Key Activity 3: Bribe. Overrule the Govt System. We must make sure that the men – that are part of the system are unable to achieve their objectives by getting the smarter men of that lot on our side.

Key Activity 4: Dare to not pay Tax. This is easier said than done. I salute all the brave men that escape ‘Lagaan’. Y-o-Y. Infallibly.

I am sure there are a lot of other CDM activities that I have not included here. Therefore you are welcome to contribute :)

Traveling in a 4th dimension…

16 Jul

By now, most of you would have guessed my obsession with street affairs. But believe me If I risk my life over 15 times on something as meaningless as commuting, I might as well join the Indian Army and win a veer chakra. So my mind keeps wandering to find larger solutions for these smaller problems.

So the other day I wandered over the internet to find more on traveling like genies – via portkeys etc. (For the uninitiated, I am a big fan of Harry Potter – and portkey is an interesting solution via which they have solved commuting problems). So I hit upon something called Worm Holes! Gosh! thats a huge concept in science coming your way from a Commerce student…(Science students, please refrain from reading further… )

Wormholes, as the name does not suggest, are invisible currents that travel faster than light. It seems that me and you, will be able to cross light ages in seconds if we hit this invisible current.

Since it is invisible, you may hit it anytime, so I may as well tell you what to expect if you hit one tomorrow.(No, I am not boasting any of my recently gained insights into the subject) Suddenly you will feel stretched. Not like you stretch at work everyday. More like parts of your body in different time zones. And before you try and collect your body together, you’d be at your destination. Wow! What a wonderful way to travel! An appeal to all the scientists out there… please do something :)

Points to ponder:

1. If there are more of you lucky guys in the same Wormhole, it may turn into a really interesting journey…. Think about it.

2. Daily life problems that this will solve besides commuting…think in the dimension of time travel… as the womholes allow traveling faster than time.

3. Give me more Business ideas that one can start around it… I would glad to get that EARLY MOVER ADVANTAGE … for now we will assume that commuting is free.

Well! my thinking nerves have died at this hour(1:30 am), and actually grappling with the issue of ‘grandfather paradox‘

The effect of inflation!

7 Jul

So all of you have been wondering where to park your money in these shrinking times? I have the answer to this difficult situation… You can send it all to me :) (reason at the end of the post).. my blessings to you with interest are already on the way :)

Ok now on a serious note! how are you dealing with the current situation of inflation?

Some observations in the past few days of how people are dealing with it:

The Kirana store uncles have become khadoos… (Used to call them Bhaiya until I decided to be really mean and started calling them Uncle.. read on to know why)

The situations as below:

Me, Anks and Meg at the store opposite our house. 2 uncles greet us with that ever so conspiring smile.

Me: “Hello Bhaiya”

Bhaiya : “Hello, kya doon?”

Meg: Like Shankar Mahdevan in a single breath singing kind of a way: milk, curd, rin coffee,……. fhsfkfjsdfe vjhgifkdskfjerdsfkfrigkdgnrgiergkrfn…. aur kuch yaad aa raha hai kya?”

Me: “Yaar, lets cut down on maggi this month… too much of fat.. may be we can just have the energy rich Parle – G…”

Anks The dietician completely agrees: “Good Idea.. That way we can save money too!” (Anks bette!!! yeh bolna nahi tha)

Me: “Thats besides the point though” (… covering up…)

Bhaiya “Maggi hata do.. Achha ab hisaab jod do”

Bhaiya ji: Grabs his calculator… tick tick tick tick…..Madam – 761

Me: “761 … !@#$%^&*! itna saman hai kya? Thikhai chaliye … Kitna de…? 700 :) ?

See the catch here is not bargaining… but customer relations.. we give him a business of almost 100 everyday… and in return expect 10% discount… why? cos we dont go to Subhiksha, Big Bazaar etc .. therefore we get the discount when we do wholesale shopping… ie above 500.. that was the established norm until that day…

Bhaiya Ji: Cluck Cluck.

Anks hands out a 1000 rupee note.

Bhaiya ji returns 239. !! My turn to do cluck cluck

Me: Uncle (bhaiya ji turned Uncle in that very moment) 1 rupaiya bhi discount nahi diya…

Uncle: raising his eyebrows at ‘Uncle’ and accepting the change. Beta, Mehengaye badh gayee hai… mehnat ka kaam karte hai…(As if mera paisa toh tree par ugta hai)

Me: Uncle fir bhi 750… oh sorry 760 ho jaata!

Uncle: Beta inflation ke baare mein nahi dekh rahe ho kya akhbar mein… (Guess, the word ‘inflation’ has become as common as aloo pyaaz today…!)

The other Fatty Uncle now gives that look of Over and out…!

Me: Heads down.. give that look of defeat to Meg and Anks! walk in silence.. Thinking – I need a raise

What else have Meghs and Anks done to save themselves of inflation: They have declared themselves FAT :O and therefore the kirana store uncle has one excess bottle of oil and ghee and alot of other eateries that i dont want to go in to detail here.

My Bais come on foot instead of rickshaw.. and are late everyday!

Barista switches of AC in peak hours (9pm). The landlady switches off our Electricity Mains ( even though we pay the bills)

The neighbour has cut down on her foreign holiday and er beauty parlour trips!

Bonuses dont seem to be getting credited in the BANK any soon!

As for myself.. I am thinking I’ll postpone my shaadi until ‘Hope’ (read money) resurfaces.

Someone, (read Govt) Please do something!!!

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